Santa Fraud

That’s right, I might be the only guy dumb enough or bold enough to call Santa out. But I’m doing it. How awesome is it that the western world tells their children every year that some fat guy from the North Pole with a beard brings their presents in the sky in a floating sleigh pulled by reindeer?It doesn’t seem very aerodynamic for one. Seriously, freaking reindeer–that was the best the Christmas storytelling committee could come up with? What about snow geese? At least they can actually fly, and they have that whole wintery name going for them.

Instead of just telling the truth–parents and loved ones buy the gifts–there are the constant elaborate tales about Santa Claus. What’s wrong with having  kids be thankful to the people who work, and save and raise them all year long. Why does there have to be some mystical, satin-wearing do-gooder with a strange love for elves? It just seems a little creepy.

And why is it a good idea to lie to little kids? It’s not like they aren’t going to find out eventually, and when they do, they’re likely to be more than a little pissed that they were treated like idiots for the first several years of their lives.

Think of it this way. If a kid was in trouble and tried to blame a broken window on some old white-haired creep tossing a rock from an air-bound wagon pulled by a pack of dogs, they’d get told to stop making up stories, stop smoking peyote and quit lying. But it’s totally OK to lie like a politician for a little holiday cheer. (So my metaphor [analogy?] was more awkward than a 27-year-old boyfriend at a high school prom, but you get the point.)

Maybe I’m just being a Grinch, but I love Christmas, and I love being thankful to the people who really give the gifts.

–Let FreeDumb Ring

–This photo taken from here and used with one of these.

~ by The Headliner on December 22, 2008.